A Day in the Life

A lot of people wonder what life is like when college ends and the grind of the working world takes its place. The days of class for a few hours, with time for naps in between (or homework, if you prefer), going to practice and doing homework at night, and staying up late are now behind me. Here's a sample weekday schedule for me:

7:00 AM: My first alarm goes off. I prefer to gradually wake up, so I promptly turn it off, roll over, and try to go back to sleep.
7:15 AM: My second alarm goes off. I unhappily get out of bed and get ready. To get ready, I shower, shave, get dressed, make my hair look semi-presentable, put my packed lunch in my briefcase, and grab some pop-tarts to eat for breakfast.
7:40 AM: Leave for work.
8:00 AM: Arrive at work. The day starts with checking emails, and if necessary, fixing any emergencies that have come up since I left the night before. You'd be surprised how often this happens. I usually like to start my day with the "brainless" work since I'm not a morning person.
10:00 AM: This is when I usually eat my breakfast. It is also when I dive into some of my harder work for the day.
1:30 PM: I eat my lunch. I like to wait until 1:30/2:00 to eat my lunch because then I don't have to stay at work very long after I'm done eating. I eat at my desk (if we eat at our desk, and are available to handle things that come up, lunch counts as part of our hours for the day), and I check various websites for some mind-clearing entertainment.
3:00 PM: For the last hour of my day, I try to find something easy to do and let the day wind down.
4:00 PM: Leave work. If I need to do laundry, or go to the grocery, I try to make these errands on my way home.
4:25 PM: If I don't have to run any errands, this is when I get home. I always change out my work clothes and put on running clothes, and go for a jog, usually about 2 miles.
5:30 PM: I have completed my run, taken a shower, and changed into sweats. I try to decide on something to eat for dinner while mindlessly watching TV. If the weather is nice, I go outside and read on my balcony.
6:00 PM: Make dinner. I never make anything too complicated (mostly pasta or frozen food), and dinner is usually done being eaten within 45 minutes of me starting to make it. I spend the rest of the evening watching TV, or a movie.
8:30 PM: I get ready for the next day at work. I pack my lunch up (sandwich, chips, string cheese, cookie, bottle of water, banana), and iron my clothes for the next day.
10:30 PM: Bedtime. It usually takes me a while to fall asleep, so I feel like if I get in bed at this time, I will fall asleep shortly after 11:00 and still get my 8 hours of sleep.

That Awkward Age

I'm 24 years old, and hold real world job, with bills to pay. There's rent, a car payment, cable, internet, gas, and electricity, and then food. This means there's a lot of budgeting for entertainment, traveling (gas prices), and buying things that I'd simply like to have because I can't call Mom and Dad, and get them to give me some more money to last until the next pay day. Despite all of this, I'm young, and not really tied down--the biggest financial commitment I have is the car payment that I'm tied to until 2016.

I work 8 AM-4 PM everyday, at a small company. The people that I work with are all in their late 30s/early 40s, are married, have kids, and own a home. I have an entirely different lifestyle from my "peers;" the people that I'm around on a daily basis. I feel more like a college student, and I feel like sometimes  (hopefully they do this on accident) I am treated like the kid in the office.

On the other hand, I have a lot more responsibility than the average college student. I can't go out late on weeknights because I have to wake up early every day of the week, and I no longer have breaks during the day where I can nap. I do have friends who are in the same position as me (but quite a few of them are getting married or engaged), but the people I talk to most either fall into the 'working and have kids' category, or the 'college student' category.

It almost feels like I'm being torn between two worlds. During the week, I am a responsible adult with a job and support myself, but on weekends I revert back to a college student. It really is an awkward age.

10 Spring Date Ideas

As the weather starts to get warm, but not unbearably hot yet, spring is the perfect time to get outside. It's a chance to show some creativity, and get away from the normal dinner and a movie dates. Below are 10 ideas that I've come up with for some fun spring dates, and they're all outside!

1. The Zoo
The animals are most likely to be out and active in the spring before the heat of summer comes. Going to the zoo will also spark some conversation topics that you might not get otherwise. And, let's be honest, every girl loves cute animals.

2. Sporting Events
Obviously, I'm partial to going to lacrosse games, but baseball games, and spring football games, work, too. If you live near a horse track, you could check that out--any sport that is played outside, really. You may not realize it, but sporting events actually are good atmospheres for dates: you sit next to your date, it is okay to talk the entire time, and you don't have to be self-conscious about what you look like while you're eating.

3. Hiking
Hiking trails are all over the place and going for a walk in the woods is always fun. Not to mention, it's exercise, which will release endorphins. It will be a very scenic walk, as everything is just starting to come into bloom (at least in the North it is; it's already bloomed in the South). Just be sure to pick a light trail if you are in the early stages of dating--no one wants to work up a sweat at the beginning of a courtship.

4. Picnic
This can accompany a hike, or be by itself. It will be fun to pack up a lunch, and take that special someone to a quiet little spot, and have a nice lunch outdoors. Eating by a river, lake, or the ocean will be scenic, and provide some serene sounds if you live near the water.





5. Historic Tours
This one is better for people who live near places where exciting history actually happened, but going on a tour of a fort, battlefield, or something else along those lines would be a great way to spend the day outside and to learn a little bit more about the history of your area. Usually these are offered at a low cost, and many places will let you explore the grounds by yourself for free.

6. The Beach
It may be too cold to swim, but it is warm enough to kick off your shoes and go for a barefoot walk in the sand. Being off-peak season, the beach will be less crowded so it will really give you a chance to talk without feeling like sardines. Go ahead, get your toes wet!



7. The Park
Head over to your local park. If it's a state park, it will have hiking trails, and other activities, to participate in. If you don't live near a park like that, go over to a playground and hit the swings, or let your inner child out, and go down the slides.

8. Outdoor Concert
You may have to do some digging to find out about these, but typically the spring time is also the beginning of outdoor concert series. I'm not talking about big headline musicians, but local bands that put on free (or close to free) concerts for the public.

9. Ice Cream Shop
Springtime also brings a few hot days here and there. On the next hot day, head over to a local ice cream shop (try to avoid the big chain places, if you can), and treat yourselves to a delicious ice cream cone while you walk around outside. If you lack coordination, sit and eat, and then walk after. Pictured is Mad Martha's, located on Martha's Vineyard.
 

10. Mini Golf
What makes a great evening activity in the summer, also makes a great daytime activity in the spring. If you, or your partner, is ridiculously competitive, this may not be the best date idea, but it can be a great way to relax and have some fun. Perhaps putting a friendly wager on the outcome of the game can add a little extra spice?

Text Tone

People say it's impossible to convey tone in a text message. False. Just think of the different messages conveyed if you receive a text saying "No" versus a text saying "No." The one with the period at the end is clearly a much more firm tone. The same is true with an "I don't know" compared to an "I don't know." The latter is clearly signaling that the sender either doesn't care, or more than likely, is expressing that this is the end of the discussion.

As you can see in the picture, the sender does not know what they are going to be doing in the future, and is not happy about that fact. They also do not want to discuss it further. An "I don't know..." as a response would have a very different meaning: that they were still thinking about and trying to decide the best course of action.

Perhaps the most dangerous situation to receive a period at the end of a text message is when it received from a female. If you ask a girl if she is mad about something, if you get a "No." response, she is very mad. Watch out.

Of course, if you're texting with a parent, or someone else who feels the need to always use proper grammar  and punctuation in text messages, then good luck trying to decipher what tone they are actually using.

Questions

In case you ever find yourself having a lull in conversation, here are some questions to get the ball rolling again. Great questions to ask if you're just starting to date someone, too:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Remember the Positives

I'm guilty of this too, but you ever notice how people only seem to remember the negative things in life? No one walks into work and says, "Man, I hit every single green light on my way in!" It's always, "Every single light was red on the way in. Took forever." I read somewhere once (I'm pretty sure) that negative events are remembered better because they trigger a stronger reaction in the brain. I don't know if that's 100% true; I'm not a scientist and I don't feel like looking it up, but it makes sense.

On top of that, if you miss the bus, you're going to stand at the bus stop for the next 10-15 minutes dwelling on the fact that you missed the bus and are now running late. Same thing with the stop light example: when you sit at the red light, that's all time spent thinking about how the light is not green. When you catch a bus on time, you walk right on without a second thought.

I think it'll be amazing how much better your days will be when you stop and make a conscious effort to remember the good things. Every time you hit a green light, be sure to remind yourself: I'm really lucky that I just caught that light green. That's 3 in a row! When you do hit a red light, you can tell yourself, "one red and three green lights is pretty good odds." It may seem silly, especially if you take that positive thinking to the I'm-so-glad-there-was-toilet-paper-left-in-the-stall level, but if you actually remember all the good things that happen to you, your whole outlook on life will change.

Your disposition be bright and sunny, and people around you will notice. The worst that happens is that you look silly for getting excited about catching your bus. The more likely result is that your positive outlook will be contagious and the people around you will start to have a more positive outlook on their lives, as well. This, in turn, benefits you: happy people are much more pleasant to deal with. You'll be happy to deal with pleasant people for once, which will make you even happier. It's the cycle of positive happiness. Copyright pending on that term.

Just try it. I dare you.

The Trouble With Girls...

Saturday night was a friend's birthday; I think 22nd, which basically just means it was the first anniversary of her 21st birthday. While out with the group, I noticed that girls have certain social interactions that are played out as perfectly as if they were reading off of a script. It almost gets humorous because every single social interaction involving a group of girls is played out the exact same way. From the outside looking in, here's a typical night out for a group of girls, through the eyes of a guy:

The night starts with each girl getting ready, usually on her own, or with one or two other girls. Each girl has the same end goal in mind with her outfit: how can I dress like a slut without looking like I'm actually a slut? Girls are usually enjoying some wine, or other type of alcohol while they get ready, and I have an idea as to why. The alcohol gives them the courage put on higher heels, and tighter, shorter dresses. The girl isn't finished getting ready until she has a solid buzz going and is feeling in a good mood.

The next stop of the night is at a friend's place for pregaming. It is almost certain that the host will not be ready when the first few people arrive; more than likely, she'll come to the door in a robe, and be looking for help deciding on one of three or four outfits that are laid out on her bed. As guests arrive they are greeted with the loud, high-pitched, "Ahhh! You look soooo good!" The accepted response is an equally loud and high-pitched, "Thanks! Look at youuuu!" More drinking ensues, and suddenly every girl wants a picture with every possible combination of girls: roomies, BFF's, sorority sisters, birthday girls, neighbors, freshman year orientation group love, and on and on it goes. After each picture is taken the following dialogue ensues (thoughts in italics):

Photographer: Wow, you guys all look so good! Maybe if I talk up the picture before they see it, they won't make me take another one.
Girl Who Owns The Camera: Here, let me see. Oh, it does look really good!
Random Girl In Photo: No, I don't like the way my left eye brow looks. Let's take another, but this time I'll switch sides so no one sees my left eye brow. Actually, I don't want anyone to see the huge zit I had trouble  hiding with my makeup, but I don't want anyone to know...
Photographer: Does anyone have any rope so I can hang myself? Okay, ready...1, 2, 3...looks great!
Random Girl In Photo 2: Now take it long ways so you can see our shoes!
Photographer: No one cares what your shoes look like. They all just assume it's slut heels anyway. Okay, ready...1, 2, 3...looks great!

Hopefully at this point, the cab has already been called. While waiting, everyone will complain about how long it's taking for the cab and talk about how ready they are. Once the cab arrives, a chorus of "of, shoot!" can be heard as girls,  who were "ready," struggle to find their purses, phones, etc. and actually get out the door. Five minutes later, after the cab driver was 10 seconds away from just leaving, everyone piles in, and away they go.

Of course, once they're at their destination, the same picture sequences take place, but usually the lighting at the party spot is low so the pictures turn out bad. In this instance, no one is happy with the result.

On Flaws...

Everyone has flaws. Believe it or not, even I do. (Joke). The difference is your attitude towards them. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, but make sure you keep it healthy--speaking of, is anyone still keeping up with those New Year's Resolutions?

Anyway, here's the thing that I don't understand: why do so many people, usually females, feel the need to point out their flaws to everyone else? I know you feel like that tiny pimple on your nose, or the fact that your eye brows are just a tiny bit uneven is going to be blatantly obvious to to the entire world, but they're not! At least, they're not until you go pointing them out to everyone; then, yes, it is really obvious.

Next time you make someone grab your fat rolls, don't be surprised/upset if they start to think you have fat rolls. After all, you are the one that put the idea in their head! When in doubt, say nothing, and I bet that no one will notice most of the things that you're considering flaws.

Be confident in yourself!

New Year's Resolutions

Here it is, the first post of 2012.  Many people have spent the last few weeks or so deeply contemplating what their New Year's Resolutions were going to be, and one thing in particular that keeps popping up in my Facebook News Feed is this: 20 New Year's Resolutions for 20-Somethings. It was an interesting read, and had plenty of good ideas for areas of improvement in 2012.

However, I must confess that I don't buy into the whole New Year's Resolution thing. I've been alive for 24 New Year's, but I can't ever remember once making a Resolution. I'll be honest; I don't see the point. I don't see why one day of the year is so special that that's the day everyone decides to make improvements in their lives. If I feel that I need to lose weight, or start exercising more (typically I don't and am in good shape), I can start that any day I want. I refuse to be one of the masses that gets a gym membership starting in January (for this example), but by March hasn't been to the gym in weeks.

 I've also seen a bunch of previews for a new movie out called New Year's Eve, and a recurring theme is how special/magical New Year's Eve is. The truth is, it's not any different than any other day of the year. The only thing that makes it magical is the attitude people have going into it--they expect it to be magical, so they make it magical. Any day can be that special with the right attitude. Treat every day this year as if it is something that is as hyped up as New Year's Eve, and every day will be special. Today's the day that you could make an effort to stop smoking; today's the day that you could meet the person you're going to marry; today's the day that could drastically change the way the rest of your life is lived. Stop waiting around, and start making it happen.

I'm not trying to bash New Year's Resolutions, I just feel that any day can be a turning point, and people should approach each day as such. To quote the old cliche, "today's the first day of the rest of your life."

For those of you who do make New Year's Resolutions, I do hope you stick with them; and for those of you that do, I think that's great.

Be Tolerant of All...Except Christianity

In a culture that gets offended over anything and everything, it seems there is one thing that has come to be seen as offensive to all: Christianity. I do believe in the separation of church and state, but in this country, majority rules, and the majority religion here is Christianity. Not to mention, the country was founded by Christians, and it is a Christian country. I will never understand why it is seen as so offensive to wish someone a, "Merry Christmas," or even have a "Christmas tree." Nope. It has to be "Happy Holidays," and public places have to put up "Holiday trees."I'm not Jewish, but if someone wished me a "Happy Hanukkah" I wouldn't be offended. If you think about it, all it comes down to is a person wishing another person well. So what if they don't use the same terms to wish well--it goes back to the majority rules theme. People will generically wish others a "Merry Christmas" because that is what they are most likely to be celebrating. It seems like no one gets upset if a town wants to place a menorah or Star of David in the common, but everyone is up in arms if they want to display a Nativity scene.

On a similar topic, I also don't understand why prayer is banned in public schools. I understand why public prayer isn't done, but if someone wants to pray by themselves, or a group of students who choose to pray together, why is that such a bad thing? It seems like if it's a group of Christian students praying, they're told not to display their faith publicly, but if a Muslim, Jew, Hindu, et al, were to pray in school, nothing would be said to them for fear of being considered intolerant.

On Saturday, I did all of my Christmas shopping, and I was shocked (in a good way), walking through JC Penny, hearing the store playing Hark the Herald Angels Sing! Not only was it a Christmas song, but it was a religious Christian song. I ended up staying in the store, browsing a little more, just to listen and sing (very quietly) along with the song. It was a very refreshing change of pace.

The Men's Guide to Buying Gifts for Women

Let's face it, women are really hard to buy for. Ever had the issue of buying a shirt, or other article of clothing for a woman and accidentally guessed the size wrong? Yeah, how long was she convinced that you thought she was fat for? Thankfully, I've never had that issue, but I know plenty of guys who have. The safest route is to just not buy her clothes. If you completely eliminate clothes from the equation, you may be stuck wondering what kind of gifts are left. Since it's still 20 days until Christmas, I'm sure most of the guys reading this haven't started their Christmas shopping yet, so there is still plenty of time. Here are five ideas of gifts that a guy can get for the woman in his life that are not clothes. I'll admit, even I'm not a perfect expert, so if any female readers have better suggestions, please leave them in the comments!

1. Movie Night In
Prepare her a little basket to put under the tree. Start with her favorite movie, and then add popcorn and other movie-going snacks to the basket to create the theater experience at home. The difference is that you'll be able to snuggle up on the couch a little better than you'd be able to at a theater. She'll appreciate that--and so should you.

2. Spa Day
Similar to a woman getting a man tickets to a concert or sporting event, your woman will love a day at the spa. Treat her to a nice pampering, and be sure to tell her how beautiful she looks after she gets back from the spa. She'll be in a great mood after a day at the spa, which will bode very well for you, as well.

3. Fragrance
Chances are, she leaves the fragrances she likes out around her place. Take a mental note of what she has, and what she likes to wear, and go pick her up a bottle of it. Be careful of getting her a new fragrance: she might take it to mean that you think she smells bad!

4. Jewelry
If you're in a serious enough relationship, she will really appreciate a nice bracelet, necklace, or earrings. There's such a wide variety of jewelry out there that it's possible to find something in your price range. If you go to a reputable store, the associates will be pretty good at making some suggestions if you can give them some clues as to the woman's style and taste.

5. Wine
Again, only if the giver and receiver of the gift are over 21! Similar to liquor for the man, women love to drink wine. She will really appreciate a nice bottle of a good wine. If you're like me, you know next to nothing about wine and even less about picking out a good one. You'll have to ask for some suggestions at the store (or use Google), and you'll probably be able to make a decent selection.

The Women's Guide to Buying Gifts for Men

So, maybe I should've published this article before Black Friday, when most people got a significant chunk of their Christmas shopping done. However, if you're anything like me, you haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. Well, haven't started, other than trying to think of what to get.

Something that seems to have been a bit of common trend throughout my life has been girls who have to come to me asking for advice because they have no idea what to get as a gift for their boyfriend, or other men in their lives. If you ask most guys what they want, most likely you'll get a response along the lines of, "I don't know, I'm cool with whatever." I'm sure you've already figured out that he is not cool with whatever. To help out, here is a list of 5 ideas for gifts that the man in your life will probably like.

1. Sports Paraphernalia
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume the guy likes sports. If he doesn't, skip this idea. It should be pretty obvious which sports teams he likes. Go to the team's online store and look around. There you'll be introduced to a wide selection of jerseys, t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, etc. If you want to stay away from apparel, check out some of their other stuff. Chances are, your man would think it was pretty cool to have a lamp of his favorite sports team. There will be something to match any budget.

2. Shaving Kits
These can be found at Target, and other places like that. I know JC Penny and Macy's usually have them, too. A quick look in his bathroom (it won't be suspicious if a girl takes a little time in the bathroom, now will it?) will tell you what brands and scents he likes. Take a look around the store and find something that matches his taste. Most of these will be under $30.

3. Tickets
Tickets to a big game, a concert, or lift tickets for a mountain will all be big hits. Hopefully, if you get him 2 tickets, he will make the right choice and bring you with. This gift of choice will probably end up being pretty pricey, though. Make sure he's worth it!

4. DVD's
Pick out some of his favorite movies for him. Maybe one he really likes just came out on DVD and you can get that for him. Maybe he is a movie buff and you can pick out a few classic movies for him to add to his collection. Another option is to get him a season or two of his favorite shows. DVD's will run you anywhere from $5-$30. Seasons of TV shows will be closer to $35+.

5. Liquor
If he is over 21 only! And, if you are over 21 only. Let's keep it legal. Bottles of liquor can be pretty expensive, so it may not by himself Johnny Walker blue all that often. Getting it as a gift will probably be pretty appreciated. If you aren't sure, check his liquor cabinet. If you still aren't sure, ask around in the store; chances are they'll know.

10 Things I Learned From My Dog

Some people say that animals can't talk. I say they do; all you have to do is listen. While animals may not speak English in the conventional manner, they certainly do find ways to communicate with their owners. In many cases, they even start to act like their owners, and entirely forget the fact that they're a dog. In the picture here, taken last Christmas Eve, Abby is helping me open a gift. She's learned that we use our hands like she uses her mouth, so she unwraps gifts at the corners with her mouth, and here, she is helping me open the box. In addition to opening presents, she also knows commands like sit, stay, shake, come, etc. While we've taught her plenty of things, I've certainly learned a few things from her, as well. Her, and our previous dog, Mandy, who died during my senior year of high school. Here are 10 things that my dogs have taught me.

1. Take Joy in Small Things
Dogs love having someone to throw a stick for them, or to scratch their ears for a few seconds. Not many humans have the ability to get so excited over such a small task.

2. Forgive Quickly
If you step on a dog's tail, they yelp, but soon enough, they come back to you on the couch, and all is forgiven. You're best friends again just like that.

3. Say You're Sorry
Dogs know when they get in trouble. When they get in trouble, it's obvious that they feel sad. Before long, though, they come back just to make sure everything is okay and to seek forgiveness.

4. Never Stop Exploring
How excited do dogs get when you take them to a new place? They run around, taking in all the smells, and their tail keeps wagging at 100 mph the whole time. The world is a big place; take time to explore it and take in everything around you.

5. Protect the Things You Love
Ever seen a dog defend it's owners? There's a reason burglars don't target homes with dogs: dogs will defend their home, and the people in it, to the death. When you have someone you care about, protect them with everything you have.

6. Love Matters More Than Things
Dogs don't care about how much money their owner has or what kind of car they drive; a dog just needs to be loved unconditionally and they will return the favor.

7. Don't Be Afraid to Chase Your Tail
While people may laugh at the dog for chasing his tail, he doesn't care. He's doing what he wants to do and is having fun doing it. Who cares what other people think; do what you want to do.

8. Sometimes the Answer is No
When people tell a dog no, it isn't because they want to, or to that they're trying to be mean to their dog. They say no for the dog's protection; because the owner knows what's best for the dog. In life, we may think that being told no is the worst thing ever, but just remember, in the long run, it's probably for a good reason--we just might not know it yet.

9. Follow the Smarter Person
If you take a dog on a walk, the person is the one controlling where you go. Obviously, humans are smarter than dogs and have a better idea of what's going on, and know where they're going. In life, follow the person who has a better idea of what the bigger picture is.

10. Tell People You Love Them
With a dog, every time you come home, your dog is there to greet you at the door with their tail wagging. When a dog loves you, they make it obvious. It should be just as obvious to other people that you love them.

A White Halloween

I'm sure you've heard about the Nor'easter that hit New England this weekend. In New Hampshire, we got 6" of snow, several trees fell on power lines, and we have been without power since 7:45 Saturday night. Thankfully, since power outages are so common in New Hampshire, we have a generator and haven't totally been living in the dark. The last count I heard was that over 400,000 people in Massachusetts and New Hampshire are still without power. Obviously, that's taken a big hit on my entertainment level.

It seems that the first phrase that kids learn is, "I'm bored." As an adult, I'm still feeling the same way, but the difference is that now, I'm old enough, and smart enough, not to complain about it. Being able to entertain yourself is a sign of maturity, and education. The educated person is smart enough to find things to do to entertain themselves. This might be reading a book, learning a new hobby, or finally getting to work on those chores that have been needing to get done. Granted, reading by flashlight is a little trickier, but can still be done.

Then again, I don't have much room to talk. I still have my iPhone, which keeps me connected to everything. And, there is the generator at home, so we can still have a warm house, and take showers. Last night we even watched a couple of DVD's for entertainment.

Modern Day Dating

The dating world has clearly changed in the past, even 5 years. Courtship used to be a guy asked a girl on a date, and then they would date, or be "going steady." Over time, terms changed, and people started "going out."  Things were much more simple, and it was a heck of a lot easier to know where you stood your significant other. Now it's so confusing that it's tempting to use Google Maps to navigate your way through the dating world.

A lot of this change has to do with the emergence of Facebook, and other social networking sites. Steps in a relationship online and quickly, if they aren't already, becoming more important than steps in a relationship that are happening together, in person. You know, in real life. To try to help with some of the confusion that now takes place on the road that is dating, here's a list of the 5 different stages of the modern relationship.

1. The Meeting
Obviously, the first thing is you will meet someone. It could be anywhere: at a party, at work, a mutual friend will introduce you, an online dating site, or the bar. Although, I don't think many relationships that start in bars last more than 24 hours. And, according to those Match.com commercial's, 1 in 5 relationships now begin on an online dating site. I'll be honest, I've taken a look at online dating sites, and, no, not everyone on there is creepy or desperate.

2. We're "talking"
Does anyone even know an actual definition for this stage? I don't. I just know it's one of those phrases people use early on. I guess I would call it the phase in between meeting and actually going on a few dates, but many will disagree with me and say it's the stage of going on those early dates. I think most people who use this term, though, just can't admit to themselves that they're stuck in a friends with benefits situation when they really want something more.

3. Dating
This one is a little more obvious. It's the process of going on dates, spending one-on-one time together, to see if there's the interest in a long term relationship. For me, the dating stage is an exclusive stage, but again, I know not everyone agrees with me. At some point, you'll have to have the " are we exclusive?" talk with your partner. To me, the exclusivity is another part of the distinction between "talking" and dating.

4. Relationship
This one is obviously exclusive. Unless you're in one of those "swinger/open relationship" type deals. This is where the terms boyfriend and girlfriend start getting used. Instead of just going out on dates, your partner will now accompany you to family events, and hang outs than include large groups of your friends. You may also have a grocery/laundry buddy now.

5. FBO
"Facebook Official." When you think about it, it's a little sad that an online social network is now the epitome of defining a relationship, but there it is. Heaven forbid, that person you knew in high school, but were really only just a passing aquaintence with anyway, doesn't know that you're now in a relationship. The FBO status can take shape in many forms: a tagged picture together, a profile picture of the two of you, and the big one, the changed relationship status.

Even if you know the steps, which aren't the same for every relationship, knowing which step you're at can be a confusing thing on it's own. The best advice I can give is to talk to your partner about where he or she thinks the relationship is at, and where it is heading. It's always best to be on the same page.

The Airport

Do you ever notice how airports seem to have such significance in life today? These days, air travel is used by most people to get around. Businesses have branches in different parts of the countries, families are becoming more spread out, and, with the help of new technology like Skype and FaceTime on the iPhone, more and more couples seem to be taking on long-distance relationships. Two of my second cousins recently married, and they were both in long-distance relationships first. One was a Chicago to Washington, D.C.; the other was the distance of a three hour drive.

While airlines have made traveling great distances relatively easy (when they aren't experiencing tremendous delays), being in an airport just has a kind of special vibe to it. Past security, there are all sorts of shops, eateries, and interesting dining options, lately I've found myself pondering about the air of the airports before the security checkpoint.

Depending on your perspective, being at an airport is either a time of great joy, or a time of sadness. If you're at the airport, and head for arrivals, it's a pretty joyous time. The airport provides the setting for a great reunion; whether it's been a week, or years, it's always a great feeling to be reunited with people you have missed. It has its own ritual of the hugging, and chatting and catching up while waiting at the baggage carousel.

On the flip side, and probably happening on a different floor, is the departures. The somber part of the airport. Suddenly, the airport has become the place of saying good-bye. There is still a ritual of hugging and saying good-bye before the security checkpoint, but those hugs are a little harder to let go of. It doesn't matter if the person leaving will be gone for a week or months; it's still hard to say good-bye.

Like no other place, the airport is the setting for so many hellos, and good-byes. I can't think of any other place with such contrasting emotions happening at the same place. Hopefully,

The Waiting Game

Having just come back from my seventh interview, the biggest thing I've learned is that most of trying to find a job is simply waiting. It starts with sending out a resume. On average, a company will have your resume for about a week before they get back to you to schedule an interview. The interview time they schedule will probably be a week after that. Of course, the interview I just had, they had my resume for four weeks, and then scheduled an interview for the next day when they contacted me.

Then, you go in for your interview with lasts 30-90 minutes. After that, it's more waiting. Most places take a week, sometimes two weeks, to pick a candidate. If you are selected, in most cases, it'll be about another week before you start. So, let's recap....4 weeks of waiting, with only 30-90 minutes of doing something yourself.

Where Have All the Men Gone?

I know that a lot of other sources have brought up this topic, but I wanted to address my thoughts on it as well. I'm not an anti-feminist, nor am I trying to convey that message, but really, where have all the men gone?

I believe that gender roles do, and should, still exist. It goes back to prehistoric and Biblical times of men being the hunter-gatherer. Men had to possess skill to hunt for food, shelter, and be able to make clothing to keep warm from the animals they were able to kill. As time went on, other manly skills and professions developed: carpentry, farming, welding, fishing, hunting. The list goes on and on. What happened?

Somewhere along the line, men started becoming less masculine. My (unscientifically proven, but probably somewhat correct) theory is that this generation became one raised by women. Men would go to work all day, leaving their sons at home with mom. Young boys would be at home seeing mom bake, clean, and other essential items that needed to be done to keep a home functioning properly. Gone are the days that it was acceptable for young men to accompany their fathers to the field to learn a trade that could be passed down from father to son. Now, more and more men are getting manicures, pedicures, fake tans, waxing, and some have even started carrying handbags. Come on!

I'll admit, I'm not the most handy man out there. My mom's father was a skilled carpenter, electrician, and draftsman. If it was broke, he knew how to fix it. Sadly, he died of cancer when I was less than three and I have no memory of him. My mom has said (half jokingly) that when she married my dad, she was unaware that not all men could fix everything in the house. Sure, my dad knows how to fix some things, but if any remodeling is going to be done, a contractor is going to be called. It's easy to see in my own family how the chain of manliness is being failed to be passed on. My grandfather knew a lot of manly skills, my dad knows quite a few, but not all of them are being passed down to me. I can remember one instance when I was 16 or 17, when I wanted my father to teach me a certain skill: changing the oil in my car.

"Dad," I asked, "can you teach me to change the oil in the car?"
"You have to pay for 4 quarts of motor oil to do it," he replied.
"Well, mechanics charge $20-25 to change the oil."
"It's a time consuming process."
"It takes time to take it to the mechanic, too."

He then went on to explain about recycling the old oil and wondering where I would take it. He also pointed out where the oil filter was in 2001 Chevy Cavalier, and how difficult it would be get to without the car on a lift. I never learned how to change the oil. It is something that still bothers me that I don't know how to do.

While car mechanics may not be my forte, I take some comfort in that fact that I do have other useful skills to have. Surprisingly to me, a large number of men don't know how to build a fire. I have some experience camping and know how to build a fire and set up a tent, which I feel are skills that every man should know.

It's time to take a stand on this new womanizing society. Gender roles exist for a reason, and society needs real men; real gentlemen. Chivalry should not be dead, and no one should question where it went. I've decided I will start writing new pieces about man essentials, or Manssentials. I'll leave you with an appropriate song for this post: I'm Still a Guy by Brad Paisley.

The Toy I Never Had

My parents never got me this.

I remember a few years ago, my mom once asked me if there was any toy from my childhood that I remembered wanting, but never got. In my childhood, it felt like I heard "no" from my parents all the time (I didn't), but once I was older, apparently I had accumulated all the major stuff that I wanted. The only toy I could think of that I really wanted but never got, was one of those toy Jeeps that kids can drive around in. Today they make them in Escalades, Mustangs, and many other cars, but when I was five, they made them in Jeep Wranglers. Just look at the joy on that kid's face.

The two girls who lived next door to me, Becca and Missy, had one and I was insanely jealous. They could drive through the grass, through some parts of the sandbox, and up and down the street. All without exuding energy that riding a bike does. Sometimes they let me drive it. Well, they either let me, or I "borrowed it without asking."  Like most boys, I loved cars and couldn't wait until I got my driver's license. I wanted it so bad in fact, that sometimes when I went to visit my grandma, she would let me drive her riding mower around in the yard. Just to clarify, I never mowed the grass, I just drove it around the yard.

I wish I could've had that toy Jeep, but life goes on. Actually, up until about a month ago I did own a Jeep. I had a Grand Cherokee, but unfortunately, the engine fried and I had to donate it. Sometimes I wonder if my extensive love for Jeep (still my favorite vehicle), doesn't stem back to my childhood and wanting that toy.

Don't worry, the story of my childhood dream toy has a happy ending. After I told my mom that I wanted that toy Jeep, she promised that when I had kids she would buy one for them. Do you think a full grown adult would fit in it? I still want one.

The Dreaded Hover Hand

Notice the hover hand.

We've all seen it. A guy asks an attractive girl--usually a professional cheerleader, or model, or something along those lines--for a picture. Of course, she agrees because it would make whatever organization she's supporting look bad if she declined (and let's be honest, she probably loves the attention), but one simple move makes it obvious that the guy is terrified of her: the dreaded hover hand.

The hover hand is when a guy poses with his arm around a girl, but he doesn't wrap his hand around her. It simply hovers in the air showing that he is afraid to actually touch her. What I don't get is this: you obviously had the guts to ask her for a picture, so why not touch her with the palm of your hand? It's not that hard.

Grow up, grow a pair, whatever analogy you prefer, and just rest your hand on the girl. She'll respect you more for it. If you want to see more hilarious hover hand photos, check them out here. That site is where I got the hover hand image above from. Below are some examples of how to properly take a photo with an attractive girl. Step up and be in her league. At least act like it anyway.

Age 15. No hover hand. But I bet the
kid in the back right is a hoverer.

Age 19. Still no hover.