Manssentials #1: Manners--Please and Thank You

Continuing from the post yesterday about lack of real men in today's society, I am writing my first article on manssentials. I also want to clarify something from yesterday's post: I was not trying to say that a woman's place in society is the kitchen and laundry room. I believe that women can, and should, have a successful career and the men in their lives should be supportive of it. I was simply trying to illustrate the point that today, women are the primary care-givers to children growing up. Obviously, this isn't always the case, as my uncle stays at home with the kids and his wife works. I was just speaking generally.

On to this post: manners. It seems that many people today, especially men, lack them. After all, what do the first three letters of manners spell? M-A-N. Starting off, let's address the issue of "please" and "thank you." It used to be that others would notice if you didn't use those two phrases. Now, everyone notices if you do. It's not hard to add a "please" after you order food, or a "thank you" when it arrives. Same thing if someone holds a door for you. You should always say "thank you." The other day, Allison and I were leaving Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I held the door for her, which she took, and held open for the guy behind her. He quickly walked out, turned the corner and didn't say a word. The issue of opening and holding doors will be more thoroughly addressed in a later post.

I've also noticed that people seem to really lack manners at restaurants. Yes, the wait staff's job is to serve you your food and drink, but they are not slaves or servants for your personal use. My mom used to always say that you can tell a lot about a person's character based on how they treat their servers, and she's right. It shows how they treat a complete stranger that they don't really have to be nice to--but there is always that fear that if you're too rude they will spit in your food. It's important to keep in mind that servers are real people with real lives. They have bad days, just like the rest of us. Guess what? They also make mistakes. They might mess something up with your order, or your drink might be empty for a minute or two before they have a chance to refill it. If they make a mistake, and they sincerely apologize, accept the apology. One mistake, with an appropriate acknowledgement and apology, shouldn't cut into his or her tip. Also, when eating out, remember that the appropriate amount for good service is 20%.

It's not hard to add a simple "please" and "thank you" to everyday speech. Sure, it may take some practice at first, but before long it will be habit enough that you won't even think about using them anymore. It will just happen. Also remember, "thanks," is not the same as "thank you."