The Trouble With Girls...

Saturday night was a friend's birthday; I think 22nd, which basically just means it was the first anniversary of her 21st birthday. While out with the group, I noticed that girls have certain social interactions that are played out as perfectly as if they were reading off of a script. It almost gets humorous because every single social interaction involving a group of girls is played out the exact same way. From the outside looking in, here's a typical night out for a group of girls, through the eyes of a guy:

The night starts with each girl getting ready, usually on her own, or with one or two other girls. Each girl has the same end goal in mind with her outfit: how can I dress like a slut without looking like I'm actually a slut? Girls are usually enjoying some wine, or other type of alcohol while they get ready, and I have an idea as to why. The alcohol gives them the courage put on higher heels, and tighter, shorter dresses. The girl isn't finished getting ready until she has a solid buzz going and is feeling in a good mood.

The next stop of the night is at a friend's place for pregaming. It is almost certain that the host will not be ready when the first few people arrive; more than likely, she'll come to the door in a robe, and be looking for help deciding on one of three or four outfits that are laid out on her bed. As guests arrive they are greeted with the loud, high-pitched, "Ahhh! You look soooo good!" The accepted response is an equally loud and high-pitched, "Thanks! Look at youuuu!" More drinking ensues, and suddenly every girl wants a picture with every possible combination of girls: roomies, BFF's, sorority sisters, birthday girls, neighbors, freshman year orientation group love, and on and on it goes. After each picture is taken the following dialogue ensues (thoughts in italics):

Photographer: Wow, you guys all look so good! Maybe if I talk up the picture before they see it, they won't make me take another one.
Girl Who Owns The Camera: Here, let me see. Oh, it does look really good!
Random Girl In Photo: No, I don't like the way my left eye brow looks. Let's take another, but this time I'll switch sides so no one sees my left eye brow. Actually, I don't want anyone to see the huge zit I had trouble  hiding with my makeup, but I don't want anyone to know...
Photographer: Does anyone have any rope so I can hang myself? Okay, ready...1, 2, 3...looks great!
Random Girl In Photo 2: Now take it long ways so you can see our shoes!
Photographer: No one cares what your shoes look like. They all just assume it's slut heels anyway. Okay, ready...1, 2, 3...looks great!

Hopefully at this point, the cab has already been called. While waiting, everyone will complain about how long it's taking for the cab and talk about how ready they are. Once the cab arrives, a chorus of "of, shoot!" can be heard as girls,  who were "ready," struggle to find their purses, phones, etc. and actually get out the door. Five minutes later, after the cab driver was 10 seconds away from just leaving, everyone piles in, and away they go.

Of course, once they're at their destination, the same picture sequences take place, but usually the lighting at the party spot is low so the pictures turn out bad. In this instance, no one is happy with the result.