Manssentials #4: Holding the Door

"I may sound old-fashioned, but I want to think all women should be treated like I want my wife, daughters, and granddaughters to be treated. I notice today that good manners—like standing up when a woman enters the room, helping a woman with her coat, letting her enter an elevator first, taking her arm to cross the street—are sometimes considered unnecessary or a throwback. These are habits I could never break, nor would I want to. I realize today a lot more women are taking care of themselves than in the past, but no woman is offended by politeness." -Frank Sinatra

One easy way to be chivalrous, with seemingly no effort, is to hold the door open for a lady. Actually, not even just for a lady. It's common courtesy to hold the door open for anyone. Holding a door open doesn't should appear like a natural act; not something you're trying extra hard to do. I like to use what I can the 10 foot rule: if the person is more than 10 feet behind me, they should be capable of opening the door themselves. The exception to this rule is if their hands are full, or if it's a door that locks, and you know the person belongs on the other side of the door, you can save them the trouble of digging for their keys.

Most situations to open a door are pretty straight-forward. I'll focus on a few of the gray areas. For a more in-depth look at holding doors open, check out The Art of Manliness.

1. The Vestibule
This can be a little tricky because there are two sets of doors. The proper thing to do is to open the first door you come to for your lady. She will step in, and obviously, beat you to the second door. As she starts to open it, take it from her and open it further for her.

As with all door situations, don't rush past her to get to the door first. If she beats you to the door, that's fine, just politely take it from her like in the vestibule. I like to position myself on the side of the door as we start to approach it from 10-15 feet away, and then take a quick half step towards it to start reaching for it and ushering her in. Just make it look natural.

2. The Door That Swings In
The proper thing to do here, is to open the door for yourself, step in, hold the door for her, and assist her through the threshold.

3. Car Doors
If you walk past her door on the way to yours, open it for her. You should also offer your arm to help her get in, especially if you car is really low to the ground, or high off the ground, as these are extra tricky to get in and out of with a dress and/or heels on. If her door is on the opposite side that you have to be on, going around and opening it just wastes time and could start to annoy her. However, if she asks for assistance, kindly oblige. When shutting her door, make sure all of her body parts, and clothes, are safely inside the vehicle first.

In almost all scenarios, any effort, even the wrong one, is usually appreciated more than no effort. Also, always be sure to add a nice, "thank you" if someone opens or holds the door for you. If some one thanks you, the proper response is "you're welcome."